Embarking on a Journey...

Last night was the first of 12 weekly webinars that I will be attending as part of Freeman Michaels Weight Release Program. I was afforded this opportunity through "Feels Like Home" blog author Tara. Having been through several different weight loss programs in my adult life I'm hoping that Freeman's will help me come to the root of my dysfunctional relationship with food and hopefully lead me down a road of weight loss and self acceptance.

In the week that follows each webinar I will post about what we discussed and my attempts at putting things into practice. It should be an interesting 12 weeks.

Motivation where are you when I need you?

My company has been in dire financial shape for most of the years I've worked for it. I am the only remaining fixture order processor and some months the work I process is all we ship out. Right now it seems were closer to going out of business then we've ever been and I can't stand it when my phone rings and it's a customer.

Can you say DAMN!!!

In my fantasy world this is what my boyfriend's body looks like...




















In the real world it's more like this...

Too Much Trampoline...

Baby Ween went a little wild on the trampoline
over the weekend and ended up with a broken arm.
A crack in her Humerus bone right below her shoulder.
The fracture is so high on her arm no cast was

required. She just has to wear a sling for a couple
of weeks and go back in a few days for another x-ray.
Baby Ween seems to be taking it in stride.

That's Right...I Went...

Sunday Night Pay-Per-View Extravaganza

NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS!!!!!!

Mr. Mark, Kyle and I went to witness it all. I must say it was a lot of fun. I took lots of pictures, bought a program and had my Crab Fries from Chickie & Pete's.

I would go again....

Turning Two Was A Success...

Baby Ween turned two on June 20th and I can't believe it. While she grows more inquisitive and hysterical everyday I sometimes miss her babyness. The other night before bed she allowed me to hold her in my arms like a baby and I sang "Rock-a-Bye-Baby" to her several times. But before I got too content she sat back up and I had to recount every detail of her birthday party and sing Happy Birthday to her several times. I was then called into service to sing several more made up songs before she would relent and allow me to put her into her crib. This was also the night our air conditioner broke so anyone sitting on their deck likely heard my homemade version of "She'll be Coming Around the Mountain." In my song Elizabeth was the one who was coming around the mountain, in a pickup with Daddy, with a big brown bear, with a silly penguin and carrying a purple baby. It just went on and on. She makes it harder and harder to leave her room at night, learning easily, it seems, how to stall for more time. I rub the sheets, I kiss her face all over, I sometimes allow her to squish my more then ample tummy. She turns her music on, jumps around a little bit and then reaches out to me as I walk to the door. All in a bid to not have to lay down, to not have to close the book on another day. As I've done every night since her arrival home from the hospital I creep in before I go to sleep. I listen for her breath and I say a small pray for her safetly and her happiness. I also say thank you for all those who love her and for having her in our lives. As the road to three unfurls I'm excited by what will come next not just for Baby Ween, but for all of us.

New Interests for Baby Ween...

Sunday our almost two year old Baby Ween was in the kitchen with me. I opened the fridge for something and she bent down and retrieved one of Daddy's "bottles". She stood up, held up the bottle and said "Beer". Plain as day. She had never uttered it before so I was floored. She turned and found Daddy in the living room and delivered his beverage, without him even asking. What service!!

When I returned to the living room she was daintily walking around the room with her little plastic mug saying "hot tea, hot tea". Then something caught her eye. Daddy was scanning the channels and she seemed interested in something she had seen. Daddy went back a few channels and there it was...Ultimate Fighting. Two guys were going to town beating on each other and Baby Ween started going crazy. She was jumping around, hollering, kicking her feet and swinging her arms. Daddy and I sat there cracking up at her display. This went on for a minute or so until one of the fighters knocked the other out and the match was over. She got quiet and as mysteriously as it began it was over. She raised her cup to her lips took a sip and said "hot tea, hot tea."

Getting My Splash On...

I Love this...

...because it's true. Yet I can't stop over-reacting
or worrying.

This Truly Annoys Me...

I go online to check my credit card account and this glaring red "security message" is there. Saying my account is currently at risk for fraudulent activity so they are sending me a new card. Again...really?

This is the second time in as many years that a "major retailer" that I shop at has allowed their customers information to get stolen. So now I have to get a new credit card and go through the hassle of updating my information with all the companies I do automated payments with. When I asked which retailer was causing the trouble I was told they don't know. Last time it was the parent company of Marshall's and Home Goods that did it to me (not that I ever remember shopping there during the affected time period). So I wonder who it is this time. I was just beginning to remember the second new credit card number I was given and now I'm going to have to memorize a third one.

I guess I should be happy that my credit card company is watching out for me but this is the same company that shut my card off on two different occasions while I was traveling out of state, and shut me down at Christmas time when I tried to buy a $500 laptop online. I'm not naive enough to think they are protecting me - they are covering their own ass, so they don't have to pay fraudulent charges that turn out not to be mine. Though I imagine if my card is ever truly stolen they will let those charges go through and not bat an eye. That would just be my luck.

A Field Trip...

As Baby Ween gets older I've learned that she needs new things to help her learn about her world. So last Friday Baby Ween and I took a road trip to meet my wonderful friend A and her girls at the Hands on House. Since I'm anxious about almost everything now, this outing was no exception. I was worried about BW dealing with other kids, strangers kids and what happened if someone knocked her down, ran her over etc.

Well I shouldn't have worried. Baby Ween was good in the car and A and I were able to have a nice lunch with the girls before we went exploring. The museum is cool with lots of different themed areas. Baby Ween seemed to really like the produce section of the grocery store, the magnetic building blocks and the larger then life light bright. As for "strangers kids" there were no issues. In fact when Baby Ween found herself at the top of some stairs holding her arms out for me to come and get her a little girl, who was coming down, promptly took her hand and helped her get to me. It was very sweet.

We finally called it a day around 2:00pm and Baby Ween was asleep in the car in approximately ten minutes. I'd like to say she slept the whole way home but she woke up when I stopped at Sonic for my happy hour lemonade slush and then she was awake the rest of the way. It was a very good day and I'm hoping we can find another fun place to meet soon.

Sometimes Golf is Interesting...

Because he didn't want to play the rest of his round
all dirty.




















"Now I'm just going to ignore you standing here in your underwear and I'm going to tell you about the hole."

A Proud Mom Moment....

We all know that baby Ween doesn't say much. She's supposed to say more then she does (according to her doctor) but she's taking her sweet time getting there. Last night we were having pizza for dinner and she had eaten her piece. I asked her if she wanted more. She looked at me said "more" and signed it plain as day. I of course was ecstatic and let her know. This made her very pleased so she said it and signed it again. The funny thing is I haven't done any signing with her in months, mainly because I was really bad about remembering to do it myself. I was so happy I could have cried. It was a good end to a rather trying day.

In Case You Didn't Know...Christmas is Coming.

Since Baby Ween has come on the scene many of the events of our lives happen whether I'm ready for them or not. This year Christmas is one of those events. We got the tree up early in December but never really got around to decorating it. I had almost decided it was a waste of time to hang ornaments this close to Christmas but I gave in last Monday night (12/15) and hung about 15 ornaments. I didn't get the cards in the mail until last Friday (12/19), but most should arrive before Santa does. I was out of wrapping paper when I went to wrap the gifts, so I had to go to Target on Saturday (12/20) to get what I needed. Right now the stocking are still empty but I'm hoping to find things to stuff them with tomorrow (12/23).

I don't think I've ever been this behind the holiday eight-ball before. But none of the hub-bub matters to Baby Ween. She's been enjoying the tree and gets upset when it isn't plugged in. She LOVES the electric train my mom has around her tree and plays engineer every time she's there. She has decided she likes cookies, real ones, not those animal crackers we've been calling "cookies" all this time. Chocolate chip, sugar cookies with sprinkles you name it she loves them. She also loves the two stuffed snowmen that used to sit on either side of our fireplace. Right now one of them is stuffed in the kitchen cabinet where she keeps her favorite toys and the other is in her bed so she can sleep with him along with Penguin, Chilly (the other penguin), teddy and bunny.

I imagine I will complete all my chores before Christmas morning rolls around and the show will go on. It just won't be exactly the way I envisioned it.

Merry Christmas to All.

The Soon-to-be First Family...

I work for a racist. This is not a shock to me, not by a long shot. But I'm finding it harder to stomach all the time. He makes rude remarks because he thinks he's being funny. Kind of like Chase Utley thinking he was funny when he dropped the f-bomb during his World Series speech.

I don't have a problem if you have different politcal views then me. What I have a problem with is ignorance and disrespect. Even John McCain can appreciate the calibur of man that Barrack Obama is and the way he engaged people and got them to vote. It's just a shame he didn't run his campaign that way. He tried, like everyday Americans, to make people afraid of Obama. A coworker asked what I "knew" about Obama, how I could vote for him when "we didn't know anything about him". I asked what he "knew" about McCain. Well he's a war hero and a long time Senator. So that makes him a safe choice? I didn't think we were a country formed on being safe. Wouldn't the safe thing have been to stay under British rule instead of breaking out on our own?

I'm not about fear - I don't abide by people using their religion or any other means to scare the populus into doing something. It worked for George Bush after 9-11. If you don't give up some personal freedoms the terrorists are going to come back. People said okay - it's called the Patriot Act. Elizabeth Dole tried it in this election to hold onto her Senate seat. She claimed her opponent was in the pockets of the "Godless Americans" group. Elizabeth Dole lost her seat because enough people saw through what she was trying to do. Unfortunately, a fair share most certainly believed her.

I don't know what's ahead for the next four years but perhaps we've opened some minds. Perhaps we've finally put to bed the notion that white men are the only people who can run this country.

Age 29, A Fine Time to Retire...

My cowboy boyfriend Justin McBride has announced that he will be retiring from bull riding after the World Finals this year. I guess when you make $5,018,529.24 for 10 years of work you can do that. He's the reason I liked to watch bull riding. Not only was he easy on the eyes, but he had mad skills when it came to riding. It just won't be the same without him.

The Pumpkin Patch

We took Baby Ween to the pumpkin patch this weekend.
We told her to "Eye, Eye" the pumpkin (which is our baby
speak for "hug the pumpkin") and she did it in such a totally
cute way that a foreign exchange college student from Lehigh
took her picture too.

A Scrappin We Will Go...

Last weekend was "Croptoberfest" for my local Creative Memories consultant so I went to her two day event at a local church. There I was able to scrap from 6:30 to Midnight on Friday and 8:30 to 4:30 on Saturday. I've gone to this event a time or two before but this time was most productive. I finished or almost finished 19 pages. Some for Elizabeth's first year book and some for our Family Calendar Book for 2007. I still have plenty to do and new projects are flying into my head all the time. I feel I'm doing a much better job being organized this year so I'm hoping to continue my productivity into the winter and maybe get started on our Family Calendar book for 2008. It is October 2008 after all, I'd better get busy.

Cowboy Boots & Hats Invade Atlantic City....

I gave Matt tickets to see Brooks & Dunn in Atlantic City for his birthday back in May. The concert was last Friday and the only disappointing part was that they only played for an hour and a half. They could sing for days on the material they have. I would have been happier with two hours but as Matt pointed out, they are getting old. Ronnie Dunn seemed to be nursing his voice along a little bit at times and he botched the words to "It's Getting Better All the Time" during their little acoustic set. But I'm willing to overlook that.

They sang old favorites like "Brand New Man", "My Maria", "Lost & Found", "Boot Scootin Boogie", "Mama Don't Get Dressed Up For Nothing", "Rock My World Little Country Girl" & "You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone".

They played "Cowboy Town" and "Put A Girl In It" from their new album. Much of the show was very similar to previous concerts of their's that we've seen but I enjoy them every time.

James Otto opened for them and I had no idea who he was. I've heard his music on the radio but I have never seen him. What was most amusing about him was he came out wearing these girl sunglasses as Matt would say and during the first or second song he did something that knocked them off his face. Then he had to play the rest of the show without them. I think he looked better with them on. He also kept telling everyone to stand up, which got annoying after a while. I paid $75 for my seat and my ass is going to be in it. I'm not 22 anymore.

All in all a great show and a great night. I think I will put a private show by Brooks & Dunn on the list of things I want when I become filthy rich.

I'm the Sad Blob...

I started this week with such high hopes. I'd had a lovely visit with friends from college on Sunday. After talking with them I was happy. I was going to try and relax about all the things I worry about and just get on with enjoying my family and my life.

Then I came to work Monday morning and our one and only designer, whom I work wonderfully well with together, told me he was quitting. In the time it took to absorb this news a horrific thought came to mind...they are going to bring back the awful designer who'd been my nemisis. The sales/design relationship has been great the last two years I couldn't bear the thought of going back to the way it was. I guess my stomach couldn't bear it either because around 4:00pm I started with terrible stomach pains. It just went on and on. I could barely drive home and seriously thought I was going to die. Well after 4 hours in the ER and IV dose acid killers I was back at home trying to think happy thoughts.

I had another attack last night, right before crawling into bed. Mercifully it only lasted a half hour. Today the owners told everyone else about the designer leaving. I'm still trying to think happy thoughts and I'm praying I have no more attacks.

So quickly my happiness was replaced by more doubt, worry and now horrible physical side effects. I know that this too shall pass. I just don't know how long I'm going to last.