Okay...it sucked me in.

I must admit I watched Dancing With The Stars last night. It wasn't a conscious decision but before I knew it two hours had passed and now I'm hooked. Joey Lawrence was first up and all I can say is "Hello? Where have you been hiding?" He could really "cha,cha,cha" if you know what I mean. He wore a sleeveless shirt and who knew Blossom's little brother had such big guns. His dance pants showed off his nice tight butt too - does anyone have a quarter I can bounce? He's one of my early favorites.

At the complete opposite end of the spectrum was Tucker Carlson. I think he should shove his bow-tie up his ass - he SUCKED!!!! If he's not eliminated tonight it will be a grievious injustice against one of the other performers. Last season Master P stomped through several weeks before his not caring ass was booted. Let's do everyone a favor and get rid of Tucker tonight. Not one ounce of rhythm here or desire for that matter.

The pleasent surprise of the night was Emmitt Smith. That boy can really dance. I think he's paired with Drew Lachey's partner from last year. He may not have the long, lythe lines of a dancer but he rocked. I hope he stays around for a while so we can see what else he can do.

Below I've listed how I would rank the celebrities this week. I will admit I even went so far as to vote online last night after the show - I evenly split my 11 votes between Joey and Emmit, with my one extra going to Sara Evans.

First - Mario Lopez (Another boy with a nice tight ass - just made for dancing - yummy)
Second - Joey Lawrence (Who said bald heads aren't sexy!)
Third - Vivica A. Fox (Props to the 40 year old - the judges called her "dirty" - how can you not love that?)
Fourth - Emmitt Smith (Nice smile, good rhythm let's keep him around.)
Fifth - Monique Coleman (From "High School Musical" - she's young and flexible - she should go far!)
Sixth - Willa Ford (her description said "pop star" - I'm not familar, we'll have to see what happens there.)
Seventh - Shanna Moakler (the soon to be ex-wife of Travis Barker - talked about the personal problems she's having right now too much. I don't want to hear about your divorce - I just want to see you dance. Is it wrong that I think her husband is hot in a skinny, tattooed, pierced rocker kind of way?)
Eighth - Sara Evans (I love her pipes, she's going to have to loosen up for the judges to like her.)
Ninth - Jerry Springer (He tried, and wasn't too terrible. Very much like George Hamilton last year - so not really a serious contender.)
Tenth - Harry Hamlin (He rotted almost as much as Tucker Carlson - talk about stick up your ass stiff - he really needs to let loose or he's going to be my bottom pick next week.)
Eleventh - Tucker Carlson (He called an alleged rape victim a whore and he can't dance worth a shit. I have to send him back to the bus and say "NEXT"!!)