Getting Them All In A Row...

Duck 1: My Personal Life

• I need a better way to handle the stress and aggravation in my life (noisy neighbors, slow traffic, incompetant people etc)
• I need a healthier relationship with food and the time to create new and different meals
• I need the time and motivation to tackle the ongoing issues with my weight
• I need to continue to nuture the relationships I have with my friends because they are very important to me.

Duck 2: My Family Life

• I want to enjoy my daughter and husband as much as possible without getting so bogged down by the day-to-day issues of what needs to get done.
• I want to give my marriage the time and nuturing it deserves, so we can be good partners as well as good parents.
• I want time spent with my mom, my siblings and my in-laws to be enjoyable and fulfilling for everyone involved.

Duck 3: My Professional Life

• I want more money
• An assistant to help me take care of sales for the entire world (since my coworker is leaving)
• A plan in place for when I am out of the office (because I will be taking a vacation)
• Ultimately a job where I can work part time to spend more time with my daughter and less time with customers who really don't value just how much I do everyday to help them get what they need.

Like Sands Through the Hourglass...

I've worked in my current job for nine years. In that time I have seen everyone who came before me, in the sales department, leave for greener pastures. Now my current sales co-worker tells me she has an interview this week and she may be leaving too. Everytime this happens it makes me question why I'm still here, why I'm still beating my head against the same wall day in and day out. I used to say the money was pretty good, but I don't think the money is going to be good enough for me to handle sales for the whole world by myself. I know I also need insurance coverage for myself and my daughter right now but the insurance they offer here isn't that great either - just ask my pockets which are $15,000 lighter now. I suppose there isn't anything to do about it, it just makes me weary.

I Called it a Train Wreck First...

Friday afternoon I heard Britney Spears was going to open the MTV VMA's and I knew it was something I had to see. On the dot of 9:00 p.m. out she came. Stomping mechanically through innane dance moves wearing a sparkly bikini made for a much thinner person. I was transfixed, sometimes even horrified at the spectical. I kept wondering who thought it was a good idea for her to do this. In addition to the ridiculous dancing she wasn't singing, nor was she even attempting to keep up the charade of lip-synching. At the end I pronouced it a train-wreck and tuned back in to Brett Michaels "Rock of Love". This morning it seemed the AP agreed with me...it was just so awful none of us could look away.

A Sad Day...

Weekly World News is no more. It's 28 year run has come to an end with its final issue hitting news stands this week. Back in the day, when I was in high school, my BFF Tina and I would devour WWN. We'd pick it up at the deli or the "Cumby" along with our king sized Snickers bars and sodas. The stories were always of the utmost craziness, but then again in the late 80's so were we.

The Grind...

Ten weeks off...where did the time go? I'll tell you, it was all that baby tending. It kept me busier then I ever imagined. Granted, nothing about my birth or post partum experiences was what I thought it would be. I didn't expect to labor for 24+ hours or be on mag sulfate so I couldn't get out of bed for 24 + hours after my babies birth. Nor did I expect her to be whisked away from me to the NICU at CHOP. I didn't think my five day old would have surgery, nor did I expect her to have a second surgery before she turned six weeks old. I didn't expect her to cry almost non-stop in the beginning, nor did I expect to have my gall bladder out before my baby was two months old. And just like that - here I am, back at my desk, toiling away like I never left.

I'm now free to send personal emails at will, read or watch TV online (between jobs of course). But part of me sees through the "glamour" of being at work and knows I will miss EJ's fun moments. Her little babbling conversations, her accidentally hitting herself in the face because her hands don't work all that well yet, or her kicking like a crazy ninja on her changing table. You just can't get that type of entertainment here. Thankfully I will also miss the crying and fussing.

For now though I suppose it's just how it is. Perhaps my dear husband will stumble into a fabulous, high-paying gig that will keep all of us in the Kimora Simmons lifestyle I aspire to. But until them I'll punch the clock each day and then head home and hold and squeeze my little baby.

But who decides what's boring...

Some times I think I "suck at life" too, but I'm too lazy to try to hide it. I work then come home and watch TV. I do like to read books and magazines and occasionally I scrapbook. Now that we have a child I imagine we will "do more" as she gets older because we'll have to help her grow in meaningful ways. Maybe she'll help us grow in meaningful ways too....just by being here.